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Charlie’s Soap box: Government attack dogs and beach etiquette

By Charlie Charalambous

The summer is becoming ever more predictable. Cyprus weather only has two modes – hot or hotter while politicians prove their unworthiness in more creative ways.

This heat is relentless and unforgiving which means you either hide indoors under the air conditioning or venture out to the beach where everyone else has the same idea.

Most people pack up their kitchen and go the beach forever and repeat the trek every weekend.

It keeps the kids occupied. But when they grow up to be teenagers the last thing they want to do is have mum and dad cramping their style.

Then there are the different types of beaches for different types of people. You can’t just roll up and throw your towel down or people will think you are weird.

Everything has to be choreographed in style with posh sun loungers, designer beach towels while groups of young athletic types flex their post-gym workout muscles and flirt with the opposite sex.

There’s an encrypted beach code that old guys like me are way beyond cracking. Down at the crowded seafront everyone is intent on having a good time.

That’s fine but I prefer to avoid the crowds and the hassle of finding beach space.

Thankfully parts of the coastline still offer an escape from the rattle of pleasure seekers and exuberant exhibitionism.

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Still you can’t blame people wanting to run for the beaches if it’s just to get away from the government in attack-dog mode against the UN for the failure at Crash-Montana.

Some might say the President has ‘lost it’ over his less than diplomatic assault on UN envoy Espen Barth Eide.

The Norwegian might not be a likeable chap but he is a UN official sent here to help out.

Strange how every UN envoy turns out to be a ‘liar’, ‘spy’, ‘pro-Turkish’, ‘arrogant’, ‘ignorant’ and ‘anti-Greek’.

They must have all attended the same course on Cyprus diplomacy.

And if the government foaming at the mouth isn’t enough, then how about communists Akel’s search for the new Macron.

Sadly, they couldn’t find him but they did dig up a charisma-free scientist who lost the last time they wheeled him out of academia. It must be the heat.

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